The Ultimate Starbucks Secret

After conducting a rigorous and widespread poll (otherwise known as listening to two friends) and carefully analyzing the results, i have reached the conclusion that my readers overwhelmingly prefer those posts that reveal secret Starbucks culture (in other words the preferences of Karin and Dani beat out those of Adithi, who claims she likes the more psychological posts). Since i have a responsibility to my fans, i have decided to risk possible termination of employment, lawsuits, etc., in order to reveal the Ultimate Starbucks Secret.

And the Ultimate Starbucks Secret is . . .

Christmas is coming. i spent two hours yesterday at our store meeting being informed of this. Starbucks considers it a v. big deal. as the Starbucks holiday theme puts it (yes, apparently Starbucks comes up with a theme for the holiday season every year, although why the holiday season needs a theme beyond, you know, the holiday season, is a mystery to me): "it only happens once a year" (again, how this statement constitutes a "theme" is mysterious).

mark your calenders: on Thursday, November 10 (i.e. this thursday), every Starbucks across the land will be red from rafters to floor. the partners will wear their complimentary red holiday t-shirts (which we can only wear on nov. 10, when in fact we must wear them, and on fridays, saturdays, and sundays, from then until christmas). the merchandise displays will be entirely red and consist of new holiday products, most of which will be $5 or less, because, lets face it, you only buy holiday gifts at Starbucks for people you don't really like. apparently sbux makes a killing every year on this obligatory holiday cheer. but you'll really know its christmas because the cups will be red. but ONLY AFTER NOV. 10th! Anyone trying to sneak a customer a drink in a red cup before nov. 10th will be put to death, or at least that's what i have to assume from the amount of emphasis my manager put on this.

Melissa the manager also emphasized that we should get to know our regular customers on a first name basis and create a connection with every customer we serve. to learn about this last bit we did role-playing "games" that were only bearable because we got prizes afterwards. i won a set of two cups and saucers with a sugar and creamer. and i also won a christmas-jazz CD, that i will probably hear a million times anyway in the store from now till christmas, because i was the only one who knew that the proper temperature for a cappuccino is between 140 and 148 degrees. apparently that's because cappuccinos are supposed to be sweet, and whereas milk between 140 and 148 degrees is caramelly and delicious, the instant milk gets hotter than 148 degrees the sugars begin to burn away (presumably this is why hot milk eventually gets that icky scalded taste).

as you can see the meeting was not exactly enjoyable, but there were a few perks besides prizes of questionable quality. first of all we closed early and all the supervisors had to clean up while the partners got a talking to. but even better, people came out of uniform, and i got to see my coworkers in normal clothes! Yirga was all decked out to go dancing afterwards, and Dan my crush object looked really hot in a, what guys in high school used to call a "young," i.e. kinda tight, t-shirt. these examples caused me to blurt out, "wow, everyone looks so much more attractive!" much to the enjoyment of the group.

hope my group of readers (four and counting) enjoyed my comments too. and remember, if you spot any red before thursday call 1-800-RED-SBUX so that the Starbucks Death Squad can find the leak and "solve the problem." ciao.